**Update**

so I've been back at school for almost a week. its been pretty damn fantastic so far. i must say, the floor i'm on is very quiet... almost too quiet. i'm glad i don't have people screaming at the top of their lungs at 5am. my classes suck because they're really far away from each other and i have to walk up-hill a lot. good exercise i guess. the commuting bit that i have to do doesn't bother me too much. some of my classes are interesting, others i fell asleep in. i really love being back at school. i think i have the best friends EVER... my friends make me believe in god because i know he placed them in my life here at school. they're the best!! and now for the fun stuff...kinda i guess...

johnnnn! ah!! now if u remember, i met this guy john before i got to howard. we've been talking daily and omigod you guys i really like him. and i really think he likes me. he is really sweet! yesterday he said that he thinks i'm good for him. and omg i asked him what he was doing and he said, "not too much, just talking to an angel." i just totally died. now of course here are the problems:
1) the 4 hour distance thing
2) i don't want to be in a relationship

problem 1 should be okay because i do come home pretty often... however, problem number two is more important and pressing. i am really scared to be in a relationship. i was hurt in every relationship i've been in and quite frankly i'm sick of it! and thats why i haven't been putting myself in a position where i can get hurt therefore... i run from being in a relationship. but i'm trying not to worry about it. just trying to letttt it happpen. lol. i worry a lot man.

gotta go make some soup! xoxoxox