**Update**

so I've been back at school for almost a week. its been pretty damn fantastic so far. i must say, the floor i'm on is very quiet... almost too quiet. i'm glad i don't have people screaming at the top of their lungs at 5am. my classes suck because they're really far away from each other and i have to walk up-hill a lot. good exercise i guess. the commuting bit that i have to do doesn't bother me too much. some of my classes are interesting, others i fell asleep in. i really love being back at school. i think i have the best friends EVER... my friends make me believe in god because i know he placed them in my life here at school. they're the best!! and now for the fun stuff...kinda i guess...

johnnnn! ah!! now if u remember, i met this guy john before i got to howard. we've been talking daily and omigod you guys i really like him. and i really think he likes me. he is really sweet! yesterday he said that he thinks i'm good for him. and omg i asked him what he was doing and he said, "not too much, just talking to an angel." i just totally died. now of course here are the problems:
1) the 4 hour distance thing
2) i don't want to be in a relationship

problem 1 should be okay because i do come home pretty often... however, problem number two is more important and pressing. i am really scared to be in a relationship. i was hurt in every relationship i've been in and quite frankly i'm sick of it! and thats why i haven't been putting myself in a position where i can get hurt therefore... i run from being in a relationship. but i'm trying not to worry about it. just trying to letttt it happpen. lol. i worry a lot man.

gotta go make some soup! xoxoxox

SCHOOL SPIRIT MA FUCKAAAA!!!

i LOVE HOWARD U!!! wow. for those of u who read regularly, u know how much i despised high school. i never had school spirit. (even when i was a cheerleader) i didn't give a DAMN if we lost lol. i just hated being there so... its really cool to LOVE MY SCHOOL! when people say "Howard" or "College" or "Washington DC" my heart just flutters! i love it! its the best!

today was my first day of class. i didn't mind waking up early today, or waiting for the shuttle, or listening to some of my new teachers... i was just so happy to be back! i saw a lot of my friends that i hadn't seen yet. it was great! one of these "friends" being the boy i'm semi in love with. why 'semi' in love? because he probably doesn't love me back.. but he DEFFF wants me. hahaha. well idk about that but i like to think so. :)

i also saw this boy i met the other day who has 'baby daddy' potential. i'm not totally certain, but hes cool peoples anyway.

more importantly (i think) my classes were pretty decent. i'm scared for my math class. i even told the teacher that i was very scared. i have the same french teacher i had last semester. still crazy.

i have so many thoughts i can't even write them all! i'll write later! ahhh!