safe

uhmm i'm scared to write what i feel. this blog is so public! lol. but there are some things that are really scary to talk about in such a public way. so in short... good things are happening... but i can't talk about them. i suck, im sorry. but, don't worry readers, don't worry.

Homecoming Blues

Today is really not going my way so far. I was woken up by my friend that wanted to tell me how she had a mouse in her room... WHY IS THAT MY PROBLEM!? anyway, that sucked. of course i couldn't go back to sleep so i had to stay up. she made me help her set up the mouse traps and everything. then i came back and watched tv for a few hours when gillian asked me if i wanted to go for a run. i really didn't want to go because i'm in horrible shape. anyway, the run made me feel awesome as runs tend to do. i checked my phone and i had 100 texts and missed calls. one was from arlene (my ex-babysitter/cousin) and she went on and on about how she is coming for howard's homecoming. i can't say i'm thrilled about that because having a guest during homecoming is extremely hectic. its hectic even when you're alone! the annoying part of the conversation was that i couldn't get a word in edgewise! she was also complaining about the fact that my parents were coming, trust me i don't want them to come either but, i can't do anything about it. they're my family. then she says she'll call me back.. so i took the opportunity to call my mom. she doesn't understand why i don't want them to come. i just really don't want to entertain anyone. she says we can just meet up and i don't have to entertain them. but i feel so bad. i'm caught in the middle. everyone wants to come to howard homecoming! thats fine but, i don't want to be the one entertaining everyone! i just want to have a relaxing weekend and enjoy the events... but i just know i'm gonna be jetsetting around DC like a chicken with it's head cut off. i feel bad because my mom got mad at me.. but honestly, i don't know why my family is coming. i DO NOT WANT them to come because i DO NOT WANT to entertain them and tell them what they should do! last year was hectic with my family coming and i really don't want to make this a tradition, because its not a very good one. i don't know what to do but this just feels like a disaster waiting to happen. i hate this!!!! ahh!!!!

God is SOO GOOD!

i have the BEST FRIENDS a girl could ever ask for! my two friends ran into an SLP (Speech Language Pathologist) that had a job opportunity for Speech Pathology majors. aka, me. so i got in contact with the woman via email. she called me this afternoon and asked about my availability. i was SOOO excited! she told me to meet her tomorrow at 11 at this school and i can't wait! get this... the job pays 15 dollars an hour!!! ahh! even if i work 10 hours a week, thats 150 bucks! do you know how much food i could buy?! how sad that thats the first thing i think of. anyway i'm so amped about it! i could eventually go shopping!!! yaaaay!

another reason why God is so good, my account balance was -.86 yesterday. sad, i know. i called my mother to see if she could put some money in my account, but i told her 'nevermind' and that i'd work it out. well i checked my account today and it was plus 50 bucks! i was confused but then elated! i have money!!!! things are so amazing i'm not even trippin over the fact that my period came early.

another reason why i'm so happy and God is so good (lol)... i really like this girl and i'm pretty sure she likes me too. and we went running and it was awesome!

LIFE IS SO GOOOOOOOD!!! yay!

pics

just a few pics from sophomore year so far ; )

Have You...

ever been so bored you don't know what to do with yourself? thats how i feel right now. i'm just hoping my phone will vibrate with something for me to do... so far nothing. if it wasn't raining, i'd probably do something. i wish i were hungry, so at least i could eat.. that would give me SOMETHING to do! i already did my laundry. my room is clean. i don't do homework on fridays. at least what not to wear is on. shit i don't even have anything to write about! i'm SO fucking bored. how interesting can this entry be if i have nothing to write, i apologize!

man. i should just go get a tattoo. nahh. its raining!

****** NEWS BRIEF ********

before i could even finish this entry, my friend knocked on the door and said she wanted to go out but her friends cancelled. so i said "LETS GO HOOKAH!" and that we did... on the way we dragged another bored student (jess) to come with us. it was really fun.. thank god!

**Update**

so I've been back at school for almost a week. its been pretty damn fantastic so far. i must say, the floor i'm on is very quiet... almost too quiet. i'm glad i don't have people screaming at the top of their lungs at 5am. my classes suck because they're really far away from each other and i have to walk up-hill a lot. good exercise i guess. the commuting bit that i have to do doesn't bother me too much. some of my classes are interesting, others i fell asleep in. i really love being back at school. i think i have the best friends EVER... my friends make me believe in god because i know he placed them in my life here at school. they're the best!! and now for the fun stuff...kinda i guess...

johnnnn! ah!! now if u remember, i met this guy john before i got to howard. we've been talking daily and omigod you guys i really like him. and i really think he likes me. he is really sweet! yesterday he said that he thinks i'm good for him. and omg i asked him what he was doing and he said, "not too much, just talking to an angel." i just totally died. now of course here are the problems:
1) the 4 hour distance thing
2) i don't want to be in a relationship

problem 1 should be okay because i do come home pretty often... however, problem number two is more important and pressing. i am really scared to be in a relationship. i was hurt in every relationship i've been in and quite frankly i'm sick of it! and thats why i haven't been putting myself in a position where i can get hurt therefore... i run from being in a relationship. but i'm trying not to worry about it. just trying to letttt it happpen. lol. i worry a lot man.

gotta go make some soup! xoxoxox

SCHOOL SPIRIT MA FUCKAAAA!!!

i LOVE HOWARD U!!! wow. for those of u who read regularly, u know how much i despised high school. i never had school spirit. (even when i was a cheerleader) i didn't give a DAMN if we lost lol. i just hated being there so... its really cool to LOVE MY SCHOOL! when people say "Howard" or "College" or "Washington DC" my heart just flutters! i love it! its the best!

today was my first day of class. i didn't mind waking up early today, or waiting for the shuttle, or listening to some of my new teachers... i was just so happy to be back! i saw a lot of my friends that i hadn't seen yet. it was great! one of these "friends" being the boy i'm semi in love with. why 'semi' in love? because he probably doesn't love me back.. but he DEFFF wants me. hahaha. well idk about that but i like to think so. :)

i also saw this boy i met the other day who has 'baby daddy' potential. i'm not totally certain, but hes cool peoples anyway.

more importantly (i think) my classes were pretty decent. i'm scared for my math class. i even told the teacher that i was very scared. i have the same french teacher i had last semester. still crazy.

i have so many thoughts i can't even write them all! i'll write later! ahhh!