i realized something tonight.
i am 19 years old and i don't want to have sex. i never thought this would be as bad of an issue as it is. but the more i talk to guys and see what they're all about, the more i realize that i am just completely naive. guys ARE interested in one thing.. sex. and i can't offer that. so my whole thing is i really shouldn't talk to guys that have that one intention, which is all guys. therefore, i won't be talking to guys. the only exception is if they won't pressure me and are willing to wait for as long as it takes. and they can't make me feel bad about it either. so that leaves...uh... no one. sure there are other things that two people can do, but i don't want to be pressured to do that either. its sad and frustrating and i wish things were different, but they aren't. so i'm gonna keep hearing things like 'im gonna talk to other girls'... 'i'll wait, but could u, uh... suck my dick' and other shit like that. i'm done.
peace
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
30 Truths of LCH (that's me)
1. I really LOVE watching TV. Especially reality TV.
2. I have a huge crush on Lil' Wayne.
3. I am a really big fan of Paris Hilton.
4. I am a youtube addict.
5. I went through a rebellious stage when i was 13 and 14.
6. My favorite thing to drink is iced tea.
7. My favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunch: Crunch Berries
8. I am really close with my three cousins.
9. I've never had a boyfriend longer than 3 months. Pathetic, I know.
10. I like Donald Trump.
11. My most listened to artist on my ipod is Robin Thicke.
12. I LOVE LOVE LOVE kissing!
13. I like when boys have neat dreads. Yummm.
14. My mom and I are very close.
15. I absolutely cannot stand Long Island.
16. I am obsessed with crime tv.
17. I started watching Family Guy when i got to college.
18. I am highly allergic to cats.
19. I hate cats.
20. I think the Jonas Brothers have no talent.
21. I am always being compared to Rudy Huxtable.
22. I love Cosmopolitan magazine.
23. I hate my butt.
24. I used to dance.
25. My favorite movie is ATL and i've seen it a LOT of times.
26. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
27. I HATEEEEE action movies.
28. I HATE going to see movies in theaters.
29. I love R&B music.
30. I was born in New Jersey.
2. I have a huge crush on Lil' Wayne.
3. I am a really big fan of Paris Hilton.
4. I am a youtube addict.
5. I went through a rebellious stage when i was 13 and 14.
6. My favorite thing to drink is iced tea.
7. My favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunch: Crunch Berries
8. I am really close with my three cousins.
9. I've never had a boyfriend longer than 3 months. Pathetic, I know.
10. I like Donald Trump.
11. My most listened to artist on my ipod is Robin Thicke.
12. I LOVE LOVE LOVE kissing!
13. I like when boys have neat dreads. Yummm.
14. My mom and I are very close.
15. I absolutely cannot stand Long Island.
16. I am obsessed with crime tv.
17. I started watching Family Guy when i got to college.
18. I am highly allergic to cats.
19. I hate cats.
20. I think the Jonas Brothers have no talent.
21. I am always being compared to Rudy Huxtable.
22. I love Cosmopolitan magazine.
23. I hate my butt.
24. I used to dance.
25. My favorite movie is ATL and i've seen it a LOT of times.
26. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
27. I HATEEEEE action movies.
28. I HATE going to see movies in theaters.
29. I love R&B music.
30. I was born in New Jersey.
why i don't go to parties on long island... PART 2!
i forgot to write about this. omg. ok. the house that the party was in was gross. okay we were in the basement. so i thought to myself, "okay this is a dirty basement. but people have dirty basements but a clean house." well got damn was i wrong. i went upstairs to go to the bathroom. holy hell this house was fucking disgusting. when we went to the bathroom... there was literally a pile of filth in the corner with hair and crap in it. it was sooo nasty. then i just looked around this house was so nasty. just garbage and random shit everywhere piled up. it was a pig sty! i am still disgusted.
i just had to let my readers know about this triflin-ness.
i just had to let my readers know about this triflin-ness.
why i don't go to parties on long island...
so last night i went to a party on long island. i haven't been to a party like this since the end of high school. i never have fun at these beer pong, stand around, no (good) music, card playing, parties. i love leaving the house at 11, going to a house party, getting niiiice, and then dancing until 2am. <- that is a fun time! but this... not so much. let me set up the scene:
Character List
*No Shirt Guy* runs around crazily, screaming in an annoying "italian-new york" accent, without a shirt, making out with his slutty girlfriend who looks like she's not a day older than 12.
*Slutty Party Girl* is the girlfriend of No Shirt Guy and walks around the beer pong table, dancing awkwardly and off beat, she weighs about 67 pounds and has about a year's worth of hair gel in her head
*My Friend's Roommate* was altogether pretty cool, but her laugh was off the chains! not only was the laugh startlingly loud, but it was high pitched and never-ending!!!! when she would laugh, the whole party seemed to stop what they were doing and look at her
*Other Guys* were mostly just drinking, making out with their girlfriends, playing video games or cards, and just overall acting like idiots.
*Other Girls* were either making out with the guys, watching the beer pong ppl, or doing that same awkward dancing thing..
it was crazy boring... might i add in i was high... anyway, it was soo boring. i didn't feel like doing any of the 'activities' that were going on, including drinking (beer is so fattening) so i just sat around. oh.. which reminds me of something that bothers me...
white ppl are all of a sudden so comfortable saying the 'n' word. i don't give NO kind of fuck if there is an 'er' or and 'a' ending, that word should be completely off limits to white people. i mean, it should never leave their lips. they shouldn't even be thinking it! idk, maybe they didn't see me, a black chick, sitting there, or maybe they saw me and it didn't phase them. but either way, they should be seriously injured for saying that word. i don't like that shit. its bad enough that we black people say it. right? right.
that party was proof to me that i need to go to DC asap and party forreal. and its another reason to never come back.
ps... things with *mark are good. really good : )
Character List
*No Shirt Guy* runs around crazily, screaming in an annoying "italian-new york" accent, without a shirt, making out with his slutty girlfriend who looks like she's not a day older than 12.
*Slutty Party Girl* is the girlfriend of No Shirt Guy and walks around the beer pong table, dancing awkwardly and off beat, she weighs about 67 pounds and has about a year's worth of hair gel in her head
*My Friend's Roommate* was altogether pretty cool, but her laugh was off the chains! not only was the laugh startlingly loud, but it was high pitched and never-ending!!!! when she would laugh, the whole party seemed to stop what they were doing and look at her
*Other Guys* were mostly just drinking, making out with their girlfriends, playing video games or cards, and just overall acting like idiots.
*Other Girls* were either making out with the guys, watching the beer pong ppl, or doing that same awkward dancing thing..
it was crazy boring... might i add in i was high... anyway, it was soo boring. i didn't feel like doing any of the 'activities' that were going on, including drinking (beer is so fattening) so i just sat around. oh.. which reminds me of something that bothers me...
white ppl are all of a sudden so comfortable saying the 'n' word. i don't give NO kind of fuck if there is an 'er' or and 'a' ending, that word should be completely off limits to white people. i mean, it should never leave their lips. they shouldn't even be thinking it! idk, maybe they didn't see me, a black chick, sitting there, or maybe they saw me and it didn't phase them. but either way, they should be seriously injured for saying that word. i don't like that shit. its bad enough that we black people say it. right? right.
that party was proof to me that i need to go to DC asap and party forreal. and its another reason to never come back.
ps... things with *mark are good. really good : )
Friday, August 1, 2008
frustrating!!!
maybe some of you girls reading this could relate. maybe not. so i was talking to the guy.. lol.. and i was a little pissed that he hadn't really been trying to contact me as much this past week. so i IMed him and we were having this conversation and he said a phrase that absolutely grinds my gears and makes my blood boil... here we go...
"Why Are You Mad At Me?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAh! first of all how the hell do u know if i'm mad or not. okay heres more background on the situation... i had said, "okay, whatever". i was trying to just end the argument (of sorts) because i didn't feel like arguing with him. it doesn't mean i'm mad it means its WHATEVAAA! that just really bothered me. this is the exact fucking reason why i stopped talking to guys. they're so fucking dumb! all they do is frustrate me. i just don't believe that there is any such thing as love or that a good relationship is even possible anymore. like i really have given up completely. i still hope for it, but in my mind at the same time, i know its not possible... or at least not for me.
god i'm so fucking frustrated
"Why Are You Mad At Me?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAh! first of all how the hell do u know if i'm mad or not. okay heres more background on the situation... i had said, "okay, whatever". i was trying to just end the argument (of sorts) because i didn't feel like arguing with him. it doesn't mean i'm mad it means its WHATEVAAA! that just really bothered me. this is the exact fucking reason why i stopped talking to guys. they're so fucking dumb! all they do is frustrate me. i just don't believe that there is any such thing as love or that a good relationship is even possible anymore. like i really have given up completely. i still hope for it, but in my mind at the same time, i know its not possible... or at least not for me.
god i'm so fucking frustrated
Thursday, July 31, 2008
facebook note : )
i wrote a lot on my birthday and i think the best thing i wrote was in a facebook note. i think it might be one of my favorite things that i've written in a long time. i thought i'd put it on my blog : )
Today is my birthday. Usually I'm happy on my birthday, but this year I'm really not. I've actually been super-emotional. Since I can't sleep, I decided to read my journal entry from my birthday last year. If you ask me about my past birthdays I'll probably tell you that I had allll crappy birthdays, but thats not entirely true. Last year I had a great day. I got to see my friends, be with my family, it was really nice. I said something in my journal that sounded so optimistic it was almost sickening, "I have so much to look back on, and so much to look forward to." And yeah, at that point in my life, I did have a lot to look forward to... summer, freshman year, freedom. Life really didn't suck for me at that point. I felt really bad about my current mood because I really wanted to be that happy again... to feel that same optimism. So I really am trying to look to the positive things that could happen to me. Hell, God was good enough to grant me another year on this earth. If nothing else, I could feel happy about that right? What am I looking forward to now? I'm looking forward to seeing my friends for a whole three months, I'm looking forward to losing the weight I put on during freshman year (thanks mcdonalds and hochi), I'm looking forward to God putting a good person who loves me in my life, and most importantly, I'm looking forward to becoming a more mature, beautiful and intelligent woman. That is another thing I realized while looking back at my journal, I have matured SO much. I left Long Island for the first time as a naive, immature, girl. Howard turned me into a "Strong Black Woman". Even though certain people tried to hold me back with their negativity this year, I stayed strong and accomplished great things. I thank the people in my life that empowered me for being there. I also thank the people that tried to bring me down with their negativity because guess what! You FAILED. I'm stronger than ever. I'm unaffected by all your garbage. So I'm going to try my best to feel happy on this birthday of mine. If you have wished me a happy one, thanks a bunch...I appreciate it.
Today is my birthday. Usually I'm happy on my birthday, but this year I'm really not. I've actually been super-emotional. Since I can't sleep, I decided to read my journal entry from my birthday last year. If you ask me about my past birthdays I'll probably tell you that I had allll crappy birthdays, but thats not entirely true. Last year I had a great day. I got to see my friends, be with my family, it was really nice. I said something in my journal that sounded so optimistic it was almost sickening, "I have so much to look back on, and so much to look forward to." And yeah, at that point in my life, I did have a lot to look forward to... summer, freshman year, freedom. Life really didn't suck for me at that point. I felt really bad about my current mood because I really wanted to be that happy again... to feel that same optimism. So I really am trying to look to the positive things that could happen to me. Hell, God was good enough to grant me another year on this earth. If nothing else, I could feel happy about that right? What am I looking forward to now? I'm looking forward to seeing my friends for a whole three months, I'm looking forward to losing the weight I put on during freshman year (thanks mcdonalds and hochi), I'm looking forward to God putting a good person who loves me in my life, and most importantly, I'm looking forward to becoming a more mature, beautiful and intelligent woman. That is another thing I realized while looking back at my journal, I have matured SO much. I left Long Island for the first time as a naive, immature, girl. Howard turned me into a "Strong Black Woman". Even though certain people tried to hold me back with their negativity this year, I stayed strong and accomplished great things. I thank the people in my life that empowered me for being there. I also thank the people that tried to bring me down with their negativity because guess what! You FAILED. I'm stronger than ever. I'm unaffected by all your garbage. So I'm going to try my best to feel happy on this birthday of mine. If you have wished me a happy one, thanks a bunch...I appreciate it.
i'm in LOVEEEEE
i fell in love this morning guys. forreal. i don't know how, but i came across this guy's youtube videos. oh. my. god. he sings and plays acoustic guitar and covers all kinds of songs. ohhhh my god. he is so good. and of all places, he's from DC!! i can't even tell you how talented (and cute) he is! i even felt compelled to write him a message which i never do. i tried not to sound too much like i was on his jock, but omg he was great!!! i literally fell in love as he played the songs. he is amazing. so brad doggett. i am in love with you <33333333333
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