...happily ever after

in my life, i haven't had a lot of boyfriends. but sometimes i think i've already met my soul-mate. for fear that he might stumble across my humble blog, we'll change names and places and other tell tale signs. ok? cool. lets call him Jack Rose (like the Titanic characters)...okay. so Jack and I grew up together in a way, until he moved away..really far away. but he came to visit one summer when we were younger and i fell in a ( 9 y.o's version) of love with him. so when he emerged later in my life (around the age of 13) it was like the same thing all over again. theres just something about Jack that totally intrigued me. so senior year in high school, i decided to see if i could find a picture of Jack on the internet...and i found more than that. i found a live moving video of him! it was like falling in that same (9 y.o's version) of love with him all over again. theres just something about Jack Rose!! but i tried to just disconnect from what i had found and i just went about my regular life. but my curiosity got the best of me and earlier in the school year i found Jack's myspace. the story keeps going the same route. whenever i see a picture of him i automatically revert back to those old feelings and i truly think they'll never go away. of course my fear of rejection comes into play, and i don't feel i could ever talk to him about these feelings. it took a lot of effort to even spark up conversation with him via internet. im not too sure what the purpose of this post is. i guess to get it out of my system. but i guess the bottom line is: Jack Rose, if you ever read this, i know you'll know it's about you, and i want you to know that what i've experienced with you is the closest thing to the idea of 'love' i've ever known. sometimes i think its me being a stalker or being obsessed, but i know that if locations and times were different we would be together.

wow that feels good.