ahhtherapy

i took a nap today. i had a really weird dream during this nap. here it goes:

so i joined this religion that was like, some african religious group at my school. so the main theme of this group was "brotherhood"...so i'm at an assembly for this group and i'm signing the pledge of allegiance, when all of a sudden, i feel weak and pass out. when i come to, i see that no one even budged from their seats to help me. i then went to the leader and inquired as to why the theme of this group was brotherhood, yet when i was in need, no one helped me!! he gave me some bullshit reason which made me mad and i told him i was leaving the group. then the leader told me that if i wanted to have an open discussion, we could. i told him i didn't want to because no one would be on my side...so i left the fucking group.

this is my analysis... i always have dreams about not being able to be heard, or no one listening to me, or trying to get people's attention. i always have this feeling that no one cares what i have to say, and that bothers the hell out of me. i told my mom about this dream and we started talking about it. and some crazy way through this conversation, i decided i want to talk to a therapist. so when i come home for the summer i'll be talking to a psychologist. i used to talk to one when i was younger...like fifth grade. i went thru a lot of shit back then and it helped me...i have a lot of shit on my chest so i'm kinda excited for it.

ehhh peace