mini-update

well. after the last incident, i called the doctor's office and the surgeon's secretary told me she would contact the insurance company and tell them off. sounded good to me. so she called me back and told me that they expedited the process and i should find out by monday (a day away from today)... so i've got to wait one more day until i find out. at this point, its in god's hands and i'm just going to sit back and let it unfold. you know, i'm really scared. mostly, i'm scared of not being COMPLETELY under when they start the surgery, i'm also scared that i'll have a bad reaction to the anesthesia and throw up a lot afterwards. i'm not scared for the pain of it, i have a high tolerance for pain actually. plus, it'll be nice to not move for a week lol. i'm more excited than scared actually. this is going to mean, the end of PAIN. pain that i feel from the moment i wake up until the moment i go to sleep. this is back pain that i've experienced for the past 4 or 5 years. i can't wait for that to be over. the thing i fear the most, is being DENIED. if they deny my case, i'll have to start saving up NOW to pay for this surgery out of pocket and get it done years from now. i do not want that to happen. anyway, i'm getting myself nervous for no reason...i'm going to write about my night last night...

so i saw my friend diego thursday and he said he wanted to hang out on friday. he asked what i wanted to do and i said, smoke weed. sounded good to the both of us sooo thats what we did friday night. it was cool. remember that um, i stopped smoking a while ago, and that night i think i smoked about 5 or 6 cigarettes, i was SO mad at myself. all i know is i won't smoke again until after my surgery (if it happens that is). see how my life revolves around this surgery?! ugh! ttyl man, ttyl