ahhtherapy part deux

today i went to the new therapist. donna. she LISTENED to me. and that was a relief. after i tell people stories, i feel like i just wasted a lot of my own time. but i really felt like i got something accomplished today. i spoke, got just the right amount of feedback, and left feeling light and airy. yay!

after that i went to my mom's friends house (debbie). i love her. shes so funny. i stayed there for a while as i died a slow death from her CATS. i'm super allergic. so i took benadryl. bad idea. well it was a good idea because i didn't feel good. but i knocked OUT. i only had an hour to sleep before my babysitting job. when i woke up i was talking about something completely non sensical.. i felt soo drugged. then i babysat.

i love these kids, i really do...but they do NOT listen!! they are constantly eating. im surprised they're not all obese. thankfully it was only three hours.. i was sooo sleepyyyy.

now i'm here in my room. my friend robbie and i were talking and he invited me to go to florida with him and my other good friend. the only obstacle is MOOLAHHH. as i tried to figure out where i was going to get this money from, i realized that my birthday is in three days! hopefully i'll get like 100 bucks so i can at least pay for the ticket... it would be great if i could get just a tad more than that so i could have some spending money. we'll see if its a possibility...but it would be soo much fun.

>>>peace<<<

brand new me

since i've been at school, i haven't felt totally like myself. i still went to church, but i wasn't having the same connection with god, i ate reeeeally bad and didn't work out (thanks for the +19 pounds), and i cursed a lot more than usual. i feel like this summer is an opportunity to change these things. i am really going to try not to curse anymore. i feel like thats a good starting point to my new self. secondly, the weight issue. i figured that going back to my old habits of eating (at home) i would go back to my old weight. howevaaaa, i plan to do more than that...okay so i weigh 179. holy crap. thats a lot for a girl thats only 5'2". by the end of the summer i would totally be stoked to weigh 145. that means i'd lose 34 lbs. i feel that i'm a pretty dedicated girl when i wanna be, and i know myself. i know that right now i'm super unhappy with the way i look, i feel like crap, i've got no energy. thats not me! my idea is that i'm going to do whatever it takes to get to the point where i am happy with my body. i've been happy with my body in the past, and thats what i want for my future. and lastly...my relationship with god. since i'm home, of course i'm going to go to church. hopefully that helps. well i'll keep you posted on the new me...


PEACE!!