..Pink Diaries..

..Pink Diaries..
you might find my life amusing... well i do

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Why I Am (still) A Virgin

oh boy, here we go. although i am still young (in some people's eyes), yes i am still a virgin. i have never been penetrated by a penis. okay?! i am only nineteen, but i don't even know many nineteen year old virgins. i suppose most girls lose it in high school. okay so if thats what is supposed to happen... i would have had to really like or love a boy in high school enough to have sex with them, right? well i didn't like anyone that much in high school. the longest i ever dated someone in high school was like a month. on top of that, in high school i was a lot more interested in religion/god/waiting till marriage, so i wouldn't have had sex either way.

soooo then there is freshman year in college. i date two guys. guy numero uno was the closest i ever was to actually having sex. i actually experienced a lot of things for the first time with him. but before things could go 'to the next level' we broke up. then guy numero dos. our relationship was so rocky and ridiculous that i pretty much knew that if i were to have sex with him, it could very well be the last time i ever see his ass..who knows with him. i am SO happy i didn't have sex with him because he is THE douchebag of the century.

so that brings us to sophomore year (so far)... i hooked up with one guy who i've liked foreverrrr... of course i didn't have sex with him because he's older than me and i'd kinda just be another girl in his lineup. however if i ever dated him i would DEFINITELY have sex with him (lol).. and for the past like, two months i've been hooking up with a girl so that kinda doesn't help the situation.

besides all that, here are the rest of the reasons i haven't had sex. one, i have bad luck, so i'd be the one to fuck around and get pregnant after the first time i have sex. reason number two, i honestly don't just meet people on a regular basis that i WANT to have sex with... and although i don't really believe in waiting until marriage anymore, i still value sex. i see it as something i want to do with someone that loves me or at the very least, REALLY likes/cares for me. i don't want to regret it. after the fact, i just want them to still give a fuck about me basically. i haven't met anyone who i feel would be like that.

college has done something to me that i don't really like. it makes me feel that my virginity is like having the cooties and you just want to get rid of it asap!! people should be really respectful of being able to hold out for that long. i have a lot of respect for people like myself. i get a lot of different reactions from both guys and girls when i tell them i am a virgin.

1) "WOW!!!! that is good (hahahaha) yeah. thats really good.... for you" -from guys and some girls

2) "okay so wait. like. you haven't had sex? like wait. like never? forreal? wait. like you have NEVER had a penis inside you? like. never?" - from guys

3) "welllll i don't have time to wait for you to be ready.. peace out" -from guys

4) "Wow, i never would have guessed, you don't even look like a virgin" -from guys mostly

now, don't get it twisted. i am not a virgin because of lack of offers. its only because of the reasons aforementioned. so when i do lose my virginity, i'll let you know. but i just don't see myself finding what i want anytime soon. i have a lot of personal shit i need to figure out before i go and complicate my situation. such as the fact that last night i coulda sworn i was a lesbian. shit like that. (lol) i hope this cleared up a lot of confusion for my faithful fans lol.

peace